Living your lives apart, yet together

I have been wondering where the healthy line between constantly thinking about your long-distance partner and putting him/her out of your mind to focus on other things is. I don’t think that an out-of-sight, out-of-mind approach is a good idea, but neither is round-the-clock dwelling in that longing feeling. You can’t really be hanging around on Skype all day and miss out on life happening around you, can you? But for some reason, I sometimes feel guilty about having my own life but also hurt if he doesn’t know what is going on in it. Stupid, right?

I have noticed that I very easily think that “Of course he knows what is going in my life, I must have told him a thousand times!”.  Well, the reality is that I might have mentioned something in passing or in a message that he has not had the time to read properly. And I do that too. I insist that I have never heard of something that he is sure to have told me about. It is not a surprise that some things go unheard or unnoticed or get forgotten in the vast amount of texts shooting back and forth every day – and there is no reason to be upset about it as it is a very human mistake to make.

I have tried to come up with ways to feel close to my partner and get a sense of what his daily life looks like. One good way to do this is to mark down your partner’s special events (parties, conferences, even doctor appointments) on your calendar or share your calendars altogether. I have found this helpful in remembering to wish good luck for, e.g., an important presentation and then ask about it later. A very easy way to show that you care!

What kind of tricks do you have to feel close despite the distance?





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